Internet Dating Faux Pas in “Happily Divorced”

Online Dating Faux Pas in “Happily Divorcehttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifd”

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The fun new TV Land show featuring the star of the 1990s popular TV show, “The Nanny,” Fran Drescher, “Happily Divorced,” features a lot of the trials and tribulations of 21st century singles dating. This includes Online Dating both as a single woman and a single gay man wanting a romantic relationship.



In the recent “Happily Divorced” episode, “Someone Wants Me,” (Season 1, Episode 7) our romantic leads, Fran and Peter, both post profiles at internet dating sites. Fran tells the truth. Peter lies about his age in his profile. And quelle surprise, Peter then doesn’t get a lot of interest and replies to his profile because his lying is pretty obvious.



Fran, on the other hand, being a visually beautiful single woman who tells the truth in her dating profile, gets a lot of interest from single guys and goes on a number of first dates.



Here’s the problem.



In the tv show episode, “Happily Divorced” has her online dating site sourced dates picking her up at her house and dropping her off at the door to her home.



Both of these are completely Internet Dating Faux Pas.



Well really, they are more than Faux Pas. These are Safety and Security Massive Mistakes when it's the world of internet dating we're talking about.



When you are pursuing love online, do not give out your home address to a complete stranger you’ve met at an Internet Dating site or Social Networking site. Behave with safety and self-valuing caution.



Until you and your date are better acquainted, keep your personal contact information and location private. For each person, precisely how long that will take will vary. Some single women will comfortable sharing their home address for the man to pick them up for the next date at their house after just the first date. Other singles won’t feel that level of safety, security, and comfort until after 2 or 3 dates when a bit more personal background information has been shared and established.



There is no precise hard and fast rule to follow about When To give out home information. The only hard and fast rule about Home Address Information Sharing is certainly Do Not Share Your Home Address before the first date.



I mention these things in conjunction with the tv show, “Happily Divorced,” because there are a lot singles just re-entering the dating world again after a few years of being out the running.



Perhaps they were in a long term relationship for a few years.



Perhaps they are now Dating Again After Divorce.



And we all read books and watch tv shows and movies and glean current dating manners and expectations from those. Even though we know the tv show is not “real life,” still, our subconscious mind will often file that information away in the back of our mind sortah half thinking that what we saw on the tv show is ok and even socially expected of singles now. So it’s important for dating and relationship experts to point out the faulty message so you don’t believe that detail about what singles are doing now.



Your safety and security habits practice your appropriately valuing yourself and your life. You deserve to be treated well. Be sure that you’re the first to do so!



Related Articles: Top 10 Online Dating Safety Tips

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Happy Dating and Relationships,



April Braswell

Dating and Relationship Expert

As seen in Dating for Dummies, 3rd Edition

Dating Expert Tips on Phone Etiquette for Online Dating

Dating Expert Tips on Phone Etiquette for Online Dating

by April Braswell, Dating and Relationship Expert

All the Etiquette books out there, I think of wonderful experts like Emily Post and Miss Manners, provide tips, guidelines, and suggestions about how to engage with people socially.

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One topic for etiquette for Dating is: Phone Etiquette for Online Dating

What are the phone rules and guidelines to use when you are contacting someone you have just “met” via an online dating site? When your prospective date gives you their phone number, are there some common courtesy and social etiquette guidelines which singles should keep in mind? And what about texting? Maybe you don’t phone after a certain hour of night, however, it’s just a text message, right?

I have observed that this is something which in particular the Millenials my not yet even know about. And some of the GenY and GenX folks are ok about, but generally weak. I never hear complaints or comments about this from the Baby Boomers, so it seems the Boomer Generation got inculcated on Phone Etiquette guidelines, certainly in relation to work and their career. So they are already strong in this.

How Late Is Too Late to Phone a New Contact You Met Online?

As a general guideline, don’t phone someone you do not know very well after 9 pm. That is the super safe, gracious, well-mannered guideline. However, we are all so very busy these days. Perhaps you wanted to phone your new contact you met online at the end of your day when you are relaxed, not frazzled and about to do 5 other chores and tasks, after the dishes are washed and put away, and the pots and pans are scrubbed and clean. And oh my, where did the evening go? It’s 9:30 pm! Couldn’t I just phone them now? 9:30 pm really is fine as well. While the “proper” guideline is 9 pm, by which you cannot go wrong. However, with someone of the current age, phoning up until about 9:50 is pretty much fine. Think in terms of being off the phone before 10 pm. So to initiate a phone call at 9:45 pm or 9:50 pm is still good. Just know that if you phone after 9:30 pm, you might risk disturbing someone’s sleep who is an early riser. You run that risk with phone a little later at night.

If you phone after 10 pm, you border on being rude. After 10:30 pm is rude with a new person/stranger. Unless they told you in an email, “It’s ok to phone as late at 11 pm….” Otherwise, just refrain from calling that late until you have met, are better acquainted and know each other a bit.

Some of the Millenials and GenX folks who grew up with MySpace and have been Facebook friends with thousands since middle school, have been inculcated to have a very casual approach to their social life. This is both kinda great and kinda a problem. It’s great not to be restricted by too many formalities and to create connection and relationships with others in your peer group and beyond all around the world. I mean, that’s cool, right? However, sometimes when we are being very casual in our conversations with someone who is, yes, still, even though you “feel” you know them from the Social Networking and Online Dating site, a stranger. Asking very personal questions of a stranger when you first talk on the phone or first meet in person for a First Date, is rude. It also shows poorly on you that you have a weakness in conversational skills.

How Late Is Too Late to Text a New Contact You Met Online?

Much like the guidelines for phoning, so follows the guideline for sending text messages. However, the text message, you might be feeling, really isn’t the same as a phone call. You’re right. A text message you can ignore more readily than someone phoning you. However, something which not everyone thinks of is, many people use their cell phone (”mobile” if you’re in the UK or the EU) as their alarm clock. So, it is right by their head on the bedside table. And here you are thinking of something quick you just wanted to say to them and it is 11:45 pm, 12:30 am, 12:45 am… or later. And you send your text message over… And “buzz, buzz, buzz.” Their phone is vibrating or text message ringing next to them while they are sleeping. And it wakes them up.

Not only is that inadvertently rude. You just disturbed their sleep. They are now feeling at least irritated by you, and think you lack many of the social graces. And this is all before they have actually met you. Your anchor in their emotional nonconscious mind is with the irritation of being awoken in the middle of the night. Your anchor is: irritation. That is not what you want to trigger at the very beginning.

Cell Phone Text Spam

While I am on the topic of text messaging, many people collect wonderful inspirational quotes or favorite Bible verses. These are a wonderful thing to intersperse into your Tweetstream at Twitter or in your update box at Facebook or MySpace. However, do not start sending these out on a daily basis to your new Prospective Dates who have graciously given you their phone number. It’s spamming. They gave you their phone number to arrange to meet for a First Date. Use it only for that purpose. They are not your new best friend. Nor are they a subscriber to your personal newsletter. Let them choose to connect and follow you at the Social Networking sites only after you two have met and established a level of acquaintance after a few dates before you do.

Happy Dating and Relationships,

April Braswell

Las Vegas Baby Boomer Dating Expert